Single parenting has its up and downs just as parenting is for those with spouses or partners. There are good days and bad days, but I’ve come to realize that there are a few downfalls, or negative aspects, to being a solo parent.
Whether you’re a single parent because of a divorce, are separated from your ex or are a widow, here are a few negative single parenting problems you might experience:
1. Clinging To Your Children
When you’re a solo parent, you do everything for your kids and are on parent mode every day of the week and minute of the day. Because you’re always switched on, you might become clingy with your children, which is okay when they’re small, but could be a problem when they get older. When your kids start to hit their teenage years, they’ll crave some independence and a clingy solo parent will find that challenging because they lean on their children for support and company. This can really hinder your relationship with your children and can be unhealthy for you in the long run. You’ll find solace in being with your kids all the time and won’t want to go out and have your own life (mainly because you don’t know how because you haven’t done it in so long). This also makes a child feel guilty leaving home when they’re older since they’ll feel bad for leaving their solo parent.
2. The Demands of Solo Parenting Can Take Their Toll
Raising a parent on your own, working, housework and more can easily take its toll on a single parent. They’ll find that they never have enough time for themselves and will continuously be stressed, pressured and fatigue. Parenting is stressful, but solo parenting is 100% harder because there’s never anyone else to help you. There’s never time to do things you want to do and if there is, you have to worry about finding a babysitter you trust and then how you’ll pay for it given you already have a set budget for the month.
3. Feeling A Deep Pain When Your Child Talks About Friends In Traditional Families
There are times when you’ll feel some real pain as a solo parent and one will be when your child comes home and tells you about how they envy their friend who lives with both parents. You’ll have to explain to them that every family is different and that your family’s situation is what works for the time being. But when you’re on your own, you’ll feel some intense sorrow that you can’t give your child what they want. The situation is entirely out of your control and you’ll wish your circumstances were different.
4. Making New Relationships Won’t Be Easy
After being on your own for so long, making new relationships won’t be easy when you’re a solo parent. First, you’re worried about who you bring around the kids. You don’t want to introduce anyone you’re dating or hanging with to your family and this can cause you to stall the relationship from moving forward. But when you do, you risk your kids getting jealous or suspicious of this new person in your life. They might act out because of their feelings, which could also put a wrench in your new relationship.
Just because there are a few downsides to being a solo parent doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with it. There are plenty of positive and good things about solo parenting that far outweigh the bad!
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