Well hello there!
It’s actually a special Hello since it’s my birthday – twerk it!
I’m writing this blog post because memories are fun and important, and what better way to make a memory than to document it! I always picture my friends, son and my one-day grandkids reading these blogs and looking at my memories that I’ve created, finding joy in knowing the type of person I am. Thinking of that brings me joy (except, of course, for those wild ones from my 20s, lol).
Since I’m now 32, I won’t be twerking it – my knees wouldn’t appreciate it. Instead, I decided to write a list of things I’ve learned thus far in my 32 years of life on this Earth, so here’s what I got:
Just be yourself – you’re going to get criticized either way
I know that sounds boring and vanilla, but hear me out. I spent much of my early twenties trying to be someone I was not. It was either to please a partner or please others and many times, I was simply living a fantasy of who I wish I was. The truth is nothing is sexier and more rewarding than being yourself. And, the faster you come to the realization that you can’t try to be someone you’re not, the faster you can close the gap to who you want to become. And as far as critics… honey, someone will always find something negative to say, every single time, trust me! So just let it go and live life being you and only you!
The older you get, the less you like drama – so save the drama for your mama
I can probably write a full post with some quite entertaining stories on this one, but let’s just say, the older you get the more you become a lover and not a fighter! ha! You’re just too old for the drama that you used to thrive on when you were younger. Now that I’m getting older, I avoid it like the plague!
Don’t be an asshole – be kind and do the right thing
Yes, I’ve had my asshole, bitchy moments throughout the years. But I’ve learned that kindness and relationships matter; they give you long-term satisfaction deep down in your soul. And it’s way more than any ego-driven, selfish moment does. So, do the right thing and be kind. Do something good for others anytime you can.
Be ruthless with who you keep in your life – let go of toxic people
On that note, kindness is often confused with being soft, naive or someone’s doormat – so please don’t be any of that. Being kind and loving has nothing to do with keeping people who have no intention on bringing value to your life. This one was tricky for me. I can’t tell you how many times I stayed in a relationship way too long, said yes to something I didn’t want or stayed in a job I was unhappy with, simply because I was too afraid of change or too busy making someone else happy.
So, be ruthless with who you keep in your life. Trying to change people, or waiting for people to change, is a waste of your time.
Confidence is sexy – never let that confidence go
I had it wrong… I believed my looks, clothes, and makeup made me sexy. But confidence is so much more than that. You don’t have to be sexy to become confident. It’s actually the other way around. You’re sexier when you’re already confident, no matter what dress or makeup you’re wearing. Being confident with yourself is what makes you sexy and irresistible!
Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo
I bet if you look back you can think of something you are doing now and had no idea how to achieve it a few years ago. But look at you now! Doing things you didn’t think were possible back then. You can figure out everything – it’s just about developing the skills to do it and want to put in the work.
Entitlement and/or expectations will suck the joy out of life – just live!
Expect nothing and you’ll be happier. No one has an obligation to do anything for you. The moment you realize this and do away with your entitlement and any expectations you have, you’ll realize that everything becomes a gift in life. Plus, you’ll enjoy the people around you, too.
Be forever young – (so cliché) but true
No, you don’t have to have your shit together by 30. And, no, you don’t stop having fun. Yes, your 30s come with more self-awareness (hopefully), but you’ll also appreciate the little things in life more. Even though setting goals during your 20s is important, I always felt as if I was rushing myself through things. Sort of like I had a checklist of things I should know or have by the time I hit my 30s or else I would be failing in life if I didn’t have everything I planned already done. The truth is there is much more to life than a checklist of accomplishments.
And, you’ll also come to find out that life will always find a way to throw new things at you, leaving you with that awesome, lovely feeling of “WTF now?”
Sarcasm gets worse with age – or actually better!
I always thought that my lovely sarcasm would fade away as I aged. Or somehow I would become this serious woman as I got older. Pfft… But the truth is that your sarcasm only gets worse ( or should I say better) the older you get.
Be where you want to be – Be present
I know I was guilty of this myself, but this has to be one of the top ways to ditch and disrespect your loved ones. being next to someone you love or care for and having your mind somewhere else does not demonstrate affection or show how you care for them. And saying something around the lines of, “But I’m always here!” is total crap. Being there doesn’t make you present. Be where you want to be – enough said.
Worrying is stupid – just let it go
Worrying is one of the dumbest things we can do. It solves nothing, helps no one and only gets you more upset in the end. Yes, your girl here is an expert at it. I would spend many nights worrying, rethinking my thinking, and stressing for things that most likely would never happen. This left me tired in the morning and in no way ready to take action. Coming up with solutions and taking action are the only things that solve problems, so ditch the worrying.
Once you get rid of the habit of worrying it will become like a stupid ex-boyfriend, you know, the one that promises he’ll change, and you might be tempted to go back, but then you remember how it makes you feel, so you just go back to doing what’s best for you. 😉
Now that I went down my list of what I’ve learned over the years, it’s time to share my list of
My biggest accomplishments:
I can talk about many things, but the biggest accomplishment that has impacted my life is overcoming depression. I never thought I’d be able to overcome my severe depression or putting a stop to my suicidal and destructive mentality. But there’s one more – raising my teenage son on my own. Those are two things I will always be grateful and humble about.
My biggest “aha” moment was:
Learning Toby Robbin’s Six Human Needs, which changed my perspective in life. It helped me start shaping my life so that I could become the person I’m becoming. It taught me to understand human behavior and see why we do things the way we do – from the clothes we wear to the music we listen to and how we respond to every situation. This taught me to stop taking things personal and be more caring and understanding with my son, myself, and everyone else I come across.
Whew…so there you have it – a few of the things I’ve learned so far in 32 years of life. I hope you take away something from this personal post and enjoyed it. And don’t forget to twerk it (if I can’t doesn’t mean you can’t do it for me)!