As parents, we find it quite difficult to grasp the adamancy our teens display most of the time. Only a few of us have actually been able to trace this attribute to the self-centered manner in which we raise them. Most of the things we make them do have actually stemmed from our selfish desires and not really about what’s best for our children – even if we justify our actions with this line.
Nobody’s disputing the fact that the desire of every parent is that their children are not caught up in the same web as they were. But you’ll agree with me that sometimes, we parent raise our kids with only one person in mind – ourselves. Unfortunately, I’m also guilty of this too. I remember times when I’ve selfishly drowned my son in the pool of my own wants and expectations instead of helping him find himself.
I’ll show you five (5) kinds of parent you surely do not want to become:
It’s okay to want your children to go beyond the mark but trying to steer their lives for them using words like “you are going to do exactly as I say if you must make me happy” is only but selfish and manipulative. Do not also guilt trip them into meeting you’re self-interest-oriented expectations you set for them.
These kind of parents make their children achieve heights that feed their own wants and desire, and not those of their children. They are not also concerned about the emotional and physical state of their children. Only theirs matter and should be gratified.
This set of parents are in the habit of bringing their children into their competition with other parents. In a bid to be recognized and given attention, some parents flaunt their children’s achievements irrespective of how their children are affected by their actions. Some even go the extra mile of putting unnecessary pressure on their kids just so they can shine amidst their own friends.
Parents Who Compare and Demoralize Their Children
Some parents are in the habit of unleashing unhealthy comparisons on their children the moment they fail to meet up with their expectations. Some even go to the extent of comparing their children with their friends by using words similar to “Luke’s mother never complains about his grades, I wonder why yours is different”.
These comparisons can demoralize children and make them believe they cannot achieve anything good in their lives.
Parenting With Negligence
While motherhood doesn’t mean that you’d no longer have time to do the things you love, it also doesn’t mean you should abandon the needs of your children in a bid to attend to yours. This kind of parents always have “more important” things to do and never create time to tend to the desires of their children.
It is not wrong to enjoy yourself as a parent and have a good name among your friends. However, it becomes wrong when you do so at the expense of your children’s happiness. Help your children become whatsoever they wish to become and never drag them into the mud of your selfish desires.